Great Sex Blog

This is one for the straight men - I’m hoping that the bi/gay women have worked most of this out already by virtue of knowing what they like themselves.

It should not come as a surprise to any of you that a lot of women really enjoy enthusiastic cunnilingus.

Here are five steps that will help you with your next muff diving expedition.

1. Take your time! No woman likes to feel that she is worth any less than your full and undivided attention, especially when your face is between her thighs. If a woman is worth doing, she is worth doing it properly. Try to work your way down her body slowly, licking and nipping gently until she is gasping before you dive in. Slowly move towards her clit, run your tongue up and down the outside then the inside of her labia and gently tease her vagina for a while - and slowly get more and more into it, and she will too. Every minute that you spend giving her oral attention is worth a lot of those valuable get-out-of-jail-free points. It isn’t about being whipped, it is about enlightened self interest - look after her and she will look after you.
2. Be gentle, at least for a start. Some women really get off on their labia being stretched apart as far as they will possibly go, and having their clitoris almost sucked out by the roots, but many do not. Go easy for a start, and build up slightly, so that she has a chance to tell you that what you’re doing is uncomfortable before it becomes painful if it is not for her. Ease off if she isn’t into that particular technique and try something different.
3. Don’t forget your fingers. Running a gentle fingertip around her outer lips while you’re working your way down her body works well, as does a finger or two inserted as she approaches orgasm (but remember that every woman is different – if she doesn’t like a finger inside her then she doesn’t – don’t push it). A thumb can be useful too – you can search gently around for her G while massaging her clit with the back of the bottom knuckle, and if you know she likes it, stretch her wider as she comes. Work in a finger or two, and when she is really into it, try adding another – remembering that not every woman likes the stretching feeling (but some really do love it – experiment with care).
4. Start slow and build up the stimulation over time. Watch and listen for her responses – moaning is good, as is a rapid increase in breathing. Adapt to what works for her – and if this is not a casual encounter, you can store up knowledge of all her pleasure buttons so that you can press them in combination the next time you have sex. No-one is born giving great head – we have to learn it just like walking and talking. Clitoral stimulation (timing and intensity), stretching her labia and vagina, tickling her asshole – all these things vary from woman to woman and even from time to time. Adapt to her needs and she’ll really appreciate it. Trust me.
5. Enthusiastic cunnilingus is the key – enthusiasm counts for a lot. Knowing that you live, if only for a little while, purely to drive her nuts with pleasure means a lot to many women. The worst thing you can do is go down on her begrudgingly: bitch about the smell or the taste, lap half-assedly at her clit while ramming a finger or two up her before she is properly warmed up – these are bad. You can do better. Take pride in your work, man!

This stuff isn’t rocket science – it is about working out what your woman partner wants and then overdelivering on it. Give it everything you’ve got. Learn to master her signals. Talk to her about it. Once you’ve learnt to make her body really sing you’ll enjoy it more yourself.

Go on. You can do it.

UPDATE: Thanks to a reader tip there is now a sixth step - please see The sixth step to better cunnilingus: what works today…